The Fairy Complex
Is there a category of people who like things clean, but are terribly messy left to themselves?
I have had the privilege of magic fairies, dusting their fairy dust all over, thus restoring balance.
These fairies have been erratic though.
Throughout my childhood and adulthood, they have changed hands on the same piece of furniture. My faith in their magic isn’t lost due to their missing periods, in fact, having learnt a thing or two watching them I can very well imitate the process of tidying up.
The issue begins when the “real “ me steps in, after the clean-up and starts tossing clothes and other sundry items around , just coz she owns them and wants to see them being “used”.
That, definitely is a reason enough to go to war with self. I call this clash of the personalities, to be the “fairy complex”.
When I play the role even for a little while, I find myself becoming one of those nagging, complaining, grumbling creatures. Completely unaware of her own intentions. Is all that complaining, mumbled to vent? Am I offloading all the weight I picked up and cleaned, onto another person? Am I desperately seeking acknowledgement for being able to see my reflection on the kitchen slab? Who does that!
Oh, did I mention the fairies obsession to grumble and gossip?
Sometimes my inner Fairy wants to teach all the other princesses a lesson and take on the role of “Hitler Grammy”, you know the types who have lived an entire life, running a house with an active kitchen and the responsibility to prepare and serve, every single meal to every hungry being, that passes by them, family and visitors alike.
They seem to command with their eyes. Their piercing gaze is enough to keep everyone out of their work/war kitchen zone. They don’t get baffled by the noise and chaos, what seems to rattle them is when a family member expresses their desire to be a lending hand.
Perhaps, help them with cooking or cleaning, maybe cut vegetables. That’s their version of nightmare. Having to forgo their internal speedometer to facilitate menial level bonding, isn’t worth the time and effort. Imagine the amount of patience it would require to “instruct” another person, letting them “into” your style of being awesome. Being watched, judged and asked hundreds of questions?
It just isn’t worth it.
The person usually gets sent away with a “treat” to simply stay out of their way.
It’s their right to complain about everyone else being useless and lazy, while they, single handedly make sure , that everyone is alive by their grace.
It’s definitely fun being HER sometimes. But she abhors the Fairies.
She feels her personal learning and earning space is encroached by a hoity toity outsider, who does half her job and charges a fee for it too! She cannot fathom this concept of a stranger entering her territory and winning her people over, by literally doing 1/10th of what she could possibly do. She hates it when people welcome her with Chai (she made) and worry when she doesn’t show up. She hates the importance the Fairy is given. After all she has been doing all of the “jobs” single handedly, over so many years. Why should an outsider receive the warmth that’s due to her?
If anything the Daughter in Law was expected to be the Fairy, but obviously with clipped wings. Coz who wants a bird that can fly away?
Since her dreams are smashed , she must adapt to be taken care of , by the Fairies.
She perennially grumbles at the loss of control within this new reality. Clearly, Grammy likes to grumble.
Meanwhile the Fairies come and go, flit around with their never ending stories on why they are late or why they just poofed from your everyday , unannounced.
Makes me wonder, is the Magic in the cleaning or in the hands of the doer, the fairy?
I’m leaning towards the former.
Those in between periods when I have had to keep my Fairy shooing Hitler Grammy at bay (by giving her creative assignments) I’ve had to reach deep within to find my scared little inner Fairy to “do the job” .
The job gets done after the whole household has heard a mouthful of choice words. Maybe somewhere there is a need for merging or separating these archetypes in my head.
The Hitler Grammy, is too rigid in her ways, and The Fairies are well, jolly and utterly irresponsible.
I feel a need for a moderator.
Modern living teaches me the importance of minimizing labor task force, for a job to be completed efficiently. Thus making life slightly inconvenient ,but time, energy and resource friendly.
And most importantly, self sufficient.